Pimp My Easter Basket: Road Kill Easter Bunny Bar Cookies

You didn’t forget about the Pimp My Easter Basket challenge, did you? Well, if you did, never fear: You still have a week to craft something and send us a picture and/or blog post link. I, on the other hand, already have a submission. One that could help you disposition sub-par chocolate Easter candy that you may receive.

Roadkill Easter Bunny Bar Cookies. Perfect for little kids. Tell them that you baked the Easter Bunny into some bar cookies. They definitely won’t cry.

Now I know you’re thinking, “Victoria, what kind of sick, twisted ^$^(*& are you?”. The answer? The kind that makes outrageous-looking bar cookies. With sub-par Easter Candy.

Yes, Russell Stover “chocolate” sucks. It’s not even worth reviewing. But if you surround it with butter, sugar, eggs, and flour, it becomes more palatable.

And perversely humorous.

Roadkill Easter Bunny Bar Cookies (Inspired by Betty Crocker and my screwed up brain)

12 tablespoons butter, softened

3 egg yolks, or one whole egg and one egg yolk, room temperature

½ cup sugar

½ cup brown sugar

1 ½ cups flour

½ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

Beat butter on medium speed in a stand mixer for about two minutes, then add sugars and cream for two to three minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, then add egg yolks, salt and vanilla, beat an additional minute. Add flour and mix on low speed until just incorporated. Press dough into an 8-inch by 8-inch pan.

Place one nasty-tasting chocolate Easter Bunny in a spot on top of the dough.

Press it into the dough so that the edges are underneath part of the dough.

Manipulate the dough around the edges of the nasty-tasting chocolate Easter Bunny so that you get a seal around the chocolate – this prevents the chocolate from running all over the dough and helps maintain the Easter Bunny shape.

Repeat with more nasty-tasting chocolate Easter Bunnies.

Bake at 350° F for 25-30 minutes.

Share with your favorite children. Be sure to tell them that the Tooth Fairy was part of the hamburgers you had for dinner.

What do you do with bad Easter candy?