The Christmas Orange

Did you ever get fruit in your stocking as a kid? I think my Mom (oops, I mean Santa) tried it once and we bitched and moaned so much she never did it again. Who the hell wants FRUIT in their stocking on Christmas? Might as well put coal in there. I want Reese's. Lots of Reese's. And don't take up space by putting batteries in there.

But if you are bound and determined to put an orange in there, there has been a good alternative (I reviewed it last year) - Terry's Chocolate Orange. I was stunned last year to see that you had to beat the thing to get it to "open" into slices, but I'm a veteran now. I didn't try something stupid like hitting it with a stapler. I just slammed these mothers right into a table. More holiday violence! What is wrong with me?

So what's new this year? Well, Terry's has a new variety and everybody and their brother is trying to get in on the action.

Terry's has toffee crunch:

The interior instruction wrapper:

Whack? I tried whacking it last year, I'm telling you, you have to slam them into a table. Here's what Terry's looks like before the slam:

And after:

As you'll see Terry's breaks apart the best. It also looks the best before you break it. Terry's (now owned by Kraft) has the process down.

When I first opened the box I was hit with the citrus smell of orange. I have to tell you, I was thinking this just might be toffee. Not orange toffee. And while I like it better than the non-toffee orange, it's still too orangy for me. But better than a real orange, mind you. Chocolate and toffee are involved.

Ferrara Pan (maker of the Atomic Fireball) has jumped into the chocolate game and they too have a toffee crunch orange:

Burst then enjoy? What the hell does "burst" mean? I like "whack and unwrap" better but I guess you can only steal so much. How about "Beat then Eat?" Or "Slam then Cram?"

Not as pretty as Terry's:

And much more carnage after the bursting. It's hard to really tell from the pics, but Terry's comes apart much better. This one was just toffee, no orange flavor. But the chocolate was waxy and the toffee in Terry's was better. I am totally unimpressed and while I hate the orange flavor, I choose Terry's over this.

Ferrara also has a Dark Orange:

Another "bursting" disaster. I still can't get some of these slices apart. But the dark chocolate/orange combo works better than the milk chocolate/orange combo. I often find that with fruit flavors, dark chocolate is a better pairing. The fruit is already sweet enough, it doesn't need milk chocolate. But this isn't the best dark chocolate in the world. However, it's better than the milk chocolate offering by Terry's only becuase of the better flavor combo.

And another contender - Florida Tropic! (I reviewed their Key Lime a month or so ago.) Their orange just says 70% cacao dark chocolate:

Well, maybe this works? Although if you've never had some of these do you know the hand is slamming? Or does it just look like it's just squeezing?

The lamest of all the "breaks" - they have no skill in the molding of this "orange." It is dark chocolate and no orange flavor. It's okay - it's not doing a whole lot for me. In fact, why bother? It's not fun to slam. It has no orange taste, no toffee, and you can get a lot better dark chocolate elsewhere. But if you insist on having a damn orange, so ahead. Wait! I think I'd rather have batteries.

The Sorbet Sistahs Go to Florida!

This will be the last post before the big surgery!!! I go in at 5:45 am Monday and Lord knows when I'll be back. But don't go away! I have scored TONS of great holiday chocolate to share with you!! And you know I'll have some great stories from the hospital!

I brought back some treats for my Sistahs from the great state of Florida and we checked them out today. First was a milk chocolate Key Lime:

Ripped off from the chocolate orange, we decided this was way too limey. It took a minute to taste the lime, we gave a slice to our waitress and she said, "I don't taste..." and immediately stopped. Once the lime kicks in, it kicks in.

Let me show you Terry's orange:

This one was too orangey for me. These chocolate fruits just don't do it for me. But the orange is a Christmas tradition. Both have to be broken open:

I was totally cracking up when Tracy had to slam this thing on the table - twice! I was flashing back to my beating the orange with a stapler last year.

Here's what they look like naked:

First the lime from the top and then from the bottom:

I think the orange looks better - there's no extra blob of chocolate holding things together:

It looks like a million times better, right?

The lime is the top image - the orange is a cleaner break. It's just made better. And the chocolate was better too as I recall. Overall, none of us were impressed with the chocolate key lime. Sorbet Sistahs say pass. Better than sorbet, but far from great.

These, however, were a different matter entirely:





These are delicious, moist coconut patties with a base and sides of chocolate. I bought pina colada and almond, but they come in lots of flavors:



Here are the patties:



Pina Colada was not so great. I thought the pineapple was too strong. We all thought it was okay until we had the almond (on the left). Almond was fabulous!!!!! The coconut was really moist, the almond and chocolate enhanced it, the balance of the three was perfect. Bravo!

I knew I had a winner when the Sistahs wanted an almond patty for the road. YAY!

Good thing Nicholas Cage has made the seas safer - I would hate for pirates to stop all the shipments of cacao and coconut. Keep the chocolate faith, and I'll be back with you soon!!!!

And Happy Thanksgiving!! I really am thankful for all of you who take the time to read this!!

Pavlov's Coupons

I'm happy to announce that my brother took his boys out Trick or Treating - dressed as a very cool Darth Vader and Boba Fett, I might add. And there were loads of Trick or Treaters where they lived. Yahoo!! The tradition lives!! At least for those on the dark side. : )

And my good friend Mike was visiting friends at the beach - and they had tons of Trick or Treaters. In fact - they almost ran out of candy. But they managed to save three white chocolate Reese's cups for themselves, so all was not lost. Happy Belated birthday, Mike! He was 30 minutes shy of being born on Halloween.

I'm feeling better about the future already.

I have come to realize in recent weeks that I am a sucker for coupons, especially those fabulous e-mail offers from companies like Bath and Body Works and Harry and David. In fact, I'm like Pavlov's Dogs. Remember them? The experimenter would ring a bell and then feed them. Pretty soon all the experimenter had to do was ring the bell and the dogs would salivate - food didn't even have to be present. Well, all these retailers have to do is send me a coupon and I immediately go to their website and buy things. I don't even have to need anything. Bow wow!

And they are smart - once you spend money and use a coupon, they send you more coupons! I'm salivating just thinking about it!

Well, this week I got a coupon for 25% off your entire purchase at Harry & David - sweet!!! That was a no brainer - I totally scored some great stuff to blog about! Wheee!! (This is a brilliant marketing strategy, by the way. Marketing directly to the people who are most likely to buy from you. Give them an offer they can't refuse - and voila - instant sales.)

So let's see what I got!

Harry and David has some pretty darn good chocolate. The truffles are smooth and creamy and the flavor good - not too subtle, not too overpowering.

Fruit flavors are seldom my favorites, but these are good. As you can see, these aren't those cheesy cream filled things like you get from my enemy, Russ Stover. This is delicious chocolate ganache. I liked cherry and raspberry better than orange, but it's all a matter of personal preference.

Now these truffles look like they have nuts on them, but look at the real picture below:

These are Moose Munch truffles. Moose Munch is their collection of popcorn blended with a variety of flavors. So crazy me thought there might be something more to these - like a crunch. They were described as "starting with a thick layer of decadent milk chocolate". "Inside, we've blended real nuts with even more creamy chocolate, then added toffee's crackle." Hmmmm.......the nuts are so blended that you can't detect them. And you can see the toffee. Not much crackle going on.

The flavor doesn't seem nutty - more like a like coffee flavor. Not bad, just not at all what I expected. These are not my favorite. Too wishy-washy. What makes the Moose Munch line is the crunchy popcorn and the mix of flavors and textures. These ain't got it going on.

Is this not the perfect collection? I LOVE all these flavors, so I'm pretty excited about this one! At the top is hazelnut - and you can see the nut there - no messing around! This one is delicious. BUT there are better hazelnut offerings out there - Perugina Kisses leap to mind.

The almond is smooth and creamy, but I think it should have a nut too. I actually prefer chocolate covered almonds to almond flavored truffles. Who knew? But I know now.

Peanut Butter is my favorite - no surprise there, huh? But are these better than Reese's Peanut Butter cups? I have to say no. I know, crazy right? The cost like a million times more. They just don't really kick. The peanut butter isn't particularly smooth and creamy or really peanut buttery tasting. Trader Joe's Peanut Butter cups are way better too.

So I just want to let you all know that Halloween is alive and well. And so is scientific theory.

You Say Bark, I Say Slab - Some Like it Ruff

After reading my post on bark (releasing the hounds of habit), my good buddy Don sent me the following:

Man Charged With Striking Girlfriend, Forcing Her To Bark

A Dunn man was arrested after he allegedly hit his girlfriend with a whip and made her bark like a dog on all fours. Brian William Cook, 35, was arrested at his home after his live-in girlfriend reported he began arguing with her and slapped her when she would not call him “sir.” He then allegedly grabbed her by the hair and hit her with a “bondage stick.” The woman told police he made her get on her knees and ordered her to bark like a dog. Cooke was charged with assault on a female. He was held at the Harnett County Jail without bond.

First of all, let me say that this was not what I had in mind.

Secondly, both Don and I think that if this was really a live-in girlfriend, she probably saw the "bondage stick" before and might just like it a little ruff.

(Thanks, Don - there just can't be too many bad puns in the world!)

Since we're still talking bark, I've learned that some chocolate makers call it bark, at Hotel Chocolat they call it slabs. I think slabs is more accurate. If it was all bumpy (nuts and fruit on top), I think bark would be better. These thick smooth things look more like slabs to me. But, hey, as long as it's made of chocolate, who even cares what they call it!

This is an assortment of 10 of Hotel Chocolat's mini slabs:

Hotel Chocolat is a UK company. Can you see the subtle British flag in the packaging? (look at all the bars as a whole.) How cool is that?

I just think the packaging is gorgeous. Each bar comes in a different colored envelope/box with a beautiful metallic wrapper.

Here's a little about them from their website:

All good stories need a bad guy, an antagonist who sparks the action. For us that bad guy was the mediocre quality of chocolate available in UK stores. So, 15 years ago, co-founders Angus Thirlwell and Peter Harris embarked on a journey to do something about it.

Starting as a mail order catalog business, we began making our brand of exclusive chocolates available to UK consumers for the first time. An award-winning website soon followed and in 2004 the first of many Hotel Chocolat retail stores appeared across the UK. The company and their chocolate have a loyal following all over the world, and have established a presence in the United States to better serve the American chocolate connoisseur.

The combination of authentic, premium ingredients with plenty of imagination and flair is something we’re passionately committed to. And it’s a position that we have strengthened by growing our own cocoa at our historic plantation, Rabot Estate in St Lucia. This exciting step allows us to extend our expertise all the way from the bean to the bar – making a unique connection between you the consumer and the cocoa plantation.

And guess what? Holy smokes!!!! This is some damn good chocolate!!!

And you can order it at http://www.hotelchocolat.com/


We're going to review just two of the slabs to start:

As usual, I thought I wouldn't like this one - Chilli & Orange Dark Chocolate with 74% cocoa - and was wrong (again).

Their description - chilli (yeah, that's how they spell it) has been teamed with cocoa since the pre-Aztec era in South America. The addition of zingy orange adds a new dimension which really works.

I agree - this bar rocks! The chili is VERY subtle and the orange balances it out. The chocolate is so good that even at 74% it's smooth and delicious. BAM!! Well done! It makes you see how chili can really work with chocolate.

This next bar is sin in a wrapper. (All the slabs come either one really thick slab or two thinner slabs to a pack.) This one is Smooth Praline Fusion:

Isn't it beautiful? Their description: Mellow milk chocolate praline meets creamy hazelnut praline in a gorgeous swirl that will melt away in the mouth like butter on hot toast.

Damn skippy! That's exactly what happens and it is AWESOME!! Once you start eating this you will never want to stop - so sweet, creamy and delicious - it should be illegal.

The only improvement in my mind would be to mix the two a little more. Maybe to have the whole bar swirled. The hazelnut is so sweet and creaming you need a little of the chocolate to balance it. But, hey - that's minor. This bar is simply amazing.

More slabs to come!! But let's keep the bondage sticks to a minimum.

Easter in the Tropics

What the hell was I thinking when I suggested orange as an Easter flavor? It apparently already IS an Easter flavor. How little I know. And I gotta tell you all, I am going to be biased here - I'm not a huge fan of orange. I like orange as a jelly bean, but so far, not much else. Well - I mean, I like orange juice, but we're talking candy here.

I was even at the Just Born factory when they told us the new flavor for this year was orange. I was covered in orange sugar dust - how could I have forgotten???

One of the things I like most about these is the multicolored sprinkles - how festive is that? And, now this is kind of weird - the inner marshmallow is pink. I don't know how that happened - I saw them made - orange blobs - solid orange goo. It's an Easter miracle!!! (I'm not going to say anything about Just Born and Resurrection - I'm already headed for the tropics as it is.)

Miracles aside - the taste is definitely orangey. If you like orange, marshmallow and sugar, these are custom designed for you. Having eaten them hot off the line, however, I am ruined forever and nothing less will do.

Even Hershey has orange Kisses!

Okay - that bag design is totally boring - I'd go so far as to say - it's ugly. And the Kisses - not so good. If you are into orange you might like these - kind of like a creamsicle. Too orange, too sweet, too gross.

Even Cadbury has an orange egg!! What rock have I been living under??? There's an orange rabbit on there for God's sake! Orange is an Easter staple! Orange is the backbone of Easter!

Of all the orange things, Cadbury was by far the best. I even sliced open my finger performing the autopsy on this baby (I BLEED for you all!). And it was worth it - check this out:

Wow - how cool is that? They still have the yoke! I was sure it would just be solid boring orange cream. Go Cadbury - you rock! These are worth trying, but I really prefer the traditional Cadbury Egg. These are just sooooo orangy! But Cadbury chocolate is so delicious it makes a nice combination. I still don't know why orange for Easter, but some things may never be understood. It's good that there are still some mysteries in the world.

And I missed some eggs for the Eggstravanza! There is a white Reese's Egg:

And a fudge Reese's Egg:

And a Mound's Egg! Will the possibilities never end???

I still think the original Reese's Egg is the best. White is good, but it's terribly sweet. It's my second choice. Fudge is last in my book - the fudge almost overpowers the peanut butter. And you know how I feel about peanut butter. I adore peanut butter. I would join the peanut butter cult if I knew how to find them. I could fall in love with Mr. Peanut - well. he might need to lose the monocle. Wait - back to Easter.

The Mounds Eggs has no weird aftertaste like the Almond Joy - the coconut was good and moist. No weird cream. But I still like Bounty best in the coconut category.

Orange you glad they didn't pick banana?

There's Nothing Like the Real Thing, Baby

Authenticity. I love it. I like people who are authentic - they are who they are. They're not trying to impress anyone. They want to be liked, mind you, but they're not going to change who they are so you'll like them. They can't. They just not wired that way.

Most of my good buddies are like this - it's something I can't explain, but I think you know what I mean. The only way I can describe it is they don't hold themselves too tightly. They don't hold back some aspect of themselves. They tell me what they think. I meet many people and I feel like many of them are playing a part - "successful businessman or businesswoman", maybe "corporate leader" or simply "in control." The people I like the most are real - they may really have it together or not, but they pretend nothing. They laugh at themselves and I love to be with them.


Other people I just can't connect with - I want to grab them by the lapels and say "Live! Be who you ARE not you you think you should be!" I need some authenticity defibrillator paddles to shock these people back to themselves. If only it were so easy. Being yourself is the hardest thing you will ever do - most people lost themselves to conformity back in high school.

I like authenticity in experiences too. Vegas is fun, but the Venetian is not Venice and the Luxor is not Egypt. Sure, you can watch a video of almost anything on UTube, but it is not the same as being there. Being face-to-face with people in a seminar is a completely different experience than participating in a webinar. I like it real.

Which brings us to authenticity in food. Many blogs ago I said "Just because you can do it, doesn't mean you should do it." I said this about chocolate gum, about chocolate Pez, and now I will say it about See's Seasonal Pie Truffles.

Now I know See's has some rabid fans. Many people have told me how great See's Candies are. Here's their website: http://www.sees.com/. I saw this box of truffles and it looked pretty interesting:

Look at that design! Notice the crust around the edges - it looks like a pie! Yay! And look at those flavors - apple, pumpkin, pecan and cranberry orange! (okay, maybe not cranberry orange - that doesn't sound like a good pie.) But hey - apple, pumpkin, and pecan! Yay!

Oooh - looking good, eh? Pumpkin is milk chocolate covered, apple is white chocolate covered, and if you can't figure out the other two, you have had way too much egg nog. I don't even have to dissect these for you - See's did it for us!

Let me be honest with you. Pie is better. Why does pie need to be made into a truffle anyway? Pie is great as pie. Here's my take - cranberry orange is not my thing. I don't like orange in my chocolate. And here it really overpowers the cranberry. I hope no one makes an orange pie.

I love pumpkin as we have discussed before. Last night I had a canful of pumpkin with Splenda (a mere 140 calories - less than one and a half truffles!). I LOVE pumpkin. This truffle had a weird aftertaste like the Godiva pumpkin truffle. Pumpkin pie has never had a weird aftertaste.

Apple pie just does not cut it - it does taste vaguely of apple pie, but are you kidding? Let's think of apple pie - hot apple pie, flaky crust, melting ice cream - why would we bother with these? Apple pie laughs at these things.

The best of the four was pecan pie, but again, I'd rather have the pie. Or a pecan ball covered in chocolate. This box takes something great (pie!) and imitates it in something great (chocolate) and ruins both. Give me authentic pie, not chocolates pretending to be pie.

And I'll also need some defibrillator paddles and some ice cream.