Lips like Peanut Butter

I can't believe Valentine's Day is almost here!! So much candy to blog about, so little time to blog about it! (Of course, I have no Valentine, but that's not surprising you guys.)

Sweethearts are a classic, so apparently everyone must steal their idea. They don't taste worth a damn, so I don't feel very sorry for them. When I saw these, I thought they were a good idea by el cheapo cookie maker Stauffer's. Mostly because I love cookies. And they are red and shaped like hearts. They look pretty cool and festive on the bag:

But look at them in real life! You can't read these! What's the point of the messages if you can't read them? And do they look red to you? Liar,liar, hearts on fire! These are completely lame. They aren't bad in taste as far as cheap cookies go, but I'm so upset at the misrepresentation of their appearance I can't get past it. BOO!!!!

I mean, what happened? A shortage at the sprinkle factory? An engineering mishap? Marketing forgetting to communicate with production? Whatever happened, it just pisses me off. If cupid were here, I'd kick him.

Speaking of cookies, look at these by our friends at el cheapo chocolate maker, Palmer:

I like the festive pink hearts. And while white chocolate isn't my fav, dumping chocolate cookie crumbs in it tastes pretty good. Do I want to eat a lot of these - God, no - way too sweet. But I like that they exist.

Hershey's has Cookies 'n' Creme Kisses:

Look at the size of those cookie chunks compared to the size of the Kiss - pretty big, huh? Makes Palmer's cookie crumbs look a little puny. These are a little less sweet than Palmer's and completely addictive. Do not keep these in a bowl on your desk - you will eat them all. There will be blue foil chips in your keyboard. And in your hair. And in the carpet. They are not specifically a Valentine's Day candy, but I was on a cookie roll.

Palmer's not done yet - not by a long shot! Look at this creative combo:

I love those juicy lips!! The heart are milk chocolate with crisped rice (like A Nestle Crunch). Very sweet, nothing special. I don't think much of the Nestle Crunch, so these don't do anything for me. The roses are billed as rich chocolate fudge. Very sweet and rich cheap chocolate. The center has a creamy mockolate filling. Loads of sugar in all these. And the lips are filled with peanut butter!! (What better to fill lips with? It's a beautiful, beautiful dream.)

While the autopsy photo makes it look like the lips are loaded with peanut butter, they really aren't. Too much cheap chocolate, not enough peanut butter. But it was a great idea!

But there's more peanut butter from Palmer:

I like these better than the lips - they seem to have more peanut butter.

But there's a big dog in the house:

I can't believe I am going to say this. I feel like a traitor in the house of Reese. I actually like the Palmer hearts better! I've eaten way more of both than I wanted to trying to disprove this to myself. But it is what it is.

However, these Reese's Hearts crush the others:

Now THAT is some peanut butter!! If only these were in the shape of lips.......

Okay, let me get a hold of myself.

I hope you all have a great Valentine's Day! And learn from this post:

Don't get sucked in by a fancy exterior. It's what's on the inside that counts.

Kisses can be addictive - be careful out there.

Try to keep an open mind, you might not really have all the answers.

And finally, the more peanut butter, the better.

A North Carolina Christmas

The Sorbet Sistahs and I just got back from a trip to Asheville, North Carolina. We wanted to check out the Gingerbread House Competition at the Grove Park Inn and the gorgeous Biltmore House.






Would you believe that the winning gingerbread houses were all in New York City for the filming of Thursday's Good Morning America? What a bummer!!!! But that's good news for you all if you want to see some amazing creations. Here are just a few:


This was one of my favorites because it was absolutely PACKED with candy - can you see all those gingerbread men and snowmen and a penguin? - it was out of control! Love it!

Thursday - 8:00am to 9:00am Good Morning America - check it out!!

Today we stopped by the Biltmore - it's so gorgeous with every room decorated for Christmas - an amazing feat. I've never seen it in the snow before - gorgeous. America's Largest Home - it's 4 acres INSIDE.

Snow on the gargoyles!

And a snowball fight on the front lawn:

Remember how I confessed to you all that I love gingerbread? I said those Little Debbie gingerbread men were crappy and that I loved Archway's gingerbread men? Well, someone from Archway contacted me and asked if they could send me some of their holiday cookies. I said YAHOO!!! They sent two types of gingerbread and this totally cute plate:

Isn't that sweet? But you know me, I can't review in a vacuum, so I got us some more gingerbread men to compare.

Let's start with Keebler - I mean elves should have it going on at Christmas, right?

Okay, not the most exciting design. Inside we get:

Okay - the sprinkles liven things up. But overall, these are lame. Cheap hard cookies that really don't taste that much like gingerbread. The elves must be focusing on toys.

Let's check out Pepperidge Farm. They have three entries:

The whole freakin' gingerbread family! Reminds me of those annoying stickers on the back of vans that have a stick figure representing each member of the family. Dad, Mom, kids, pets - why for God's sake? To do a quick check in case someone is missing? To tell everyone that you can indeed reproduce? Ah - I digress.

There is a nice idea on the back in case the gingerbread family can't pay their mortgage:

Although I think that might be a big waste of some mighty fine cookies - especially if you use Milanos for the shingles. Mmmmm.......Milanos.........

But look at how nicely these cookies are packaged:

Pepperidge Farms makes their cookies seem special even if they aren't. Sorry - not enough ginger, hard as rocks, and why are those kids attached to each other? I had a brother and we would have killed each other.

On closer inspection maybe they really are beating the hell out of each other.

But Pepperidge Farm isn't done:

I love the man - Ginger Man - like he's a superhero or something.

Okay, these taste like sugar cookies that someone waved ginger over. I can barely taste any ginger. Also hard as rocks. I like gingerbread cookies to have a little give to them, a little softness. And they should taste like ginger! Maybe they are just calling them ginger man because of the shape. Boo!!

How about Stauffer's (known mostly for animal crackers):

Okay - look at the cookies on the bag. Now look at the cookies here. What the hell happened? Is that a ginger ghost? They all look like this and they too taste like hard rocks. Crappy.

Now here's some cool packaging I found in World Market:

But it was hard as hell to get the cookies out of the tiny opening:

Good thing they too were as hard as rocks so there wasn't much breakage:

Made by Orbit Cookie out of Canada. Still pretty crummy, but at least had a better ginger taste. I like the train.

Okay, let's talk Archway:

These were not the Archway cookies that won my heart. At least these aren't as hard as rocks and they do have a ginger taste, but THESE are the money cookies:

Sprinkles, icing - soft cookies, really taste like gingerbread - oh yeah! These blow everything else completely out of the water. These ROCK!!!!!

I even compared then to cookies that cost almost ten times as much:

By Monaco Baking Company in the good ol' US of A - these were dry and the candy coating kind of yucky. They look gorgeous, but the taste didn't hold up.

And these from Williams - Sonoma:

These are usually really good, but this year they were kind of dry also. And for $22 dollars a pack - I kid you not - they should be the ones rocking. Good looks can't offset crummy taste.

Take aways?

Once again - looks don't mean everything, although we often get fooled by a pretty face or other attractive exteriors.

Try lots of things to figure out what YOU like. You might like the Ginger Man or you might love the Archway - but you won't know if you don't try them!!

Holiday adventures can't be beat! Biltmore is amazing at Christmas - and the snow turned out to be a great gift. And I'm so thankful I have my Sorbet Sistahs to have fun and adventures with! Get your friends out there - someone has to get the party train started!! Just make sure there is plenty of room for the cookies.

Oceans of Chocolate Optimism

I just tried Chocolate Animal Crackers by Kraft. These are the animal crackers most of us grew up with - they come in the cool package that looks like the circus train. I got them for the sole purpose of comparing them to the Chocolate Goldfish. I secretly thought they might be better. (I don't know why I seem to be so skeptical of the Chocolate Goldfish - I have eaten them and they are good!) The animal crackers were not as good - less sweet - more crackery. But better shapes! But not smiley faces. Get the Goldfish.


On the ChocoTour I got some Stauffer's Chocolate Animal Crackers - they rank somewhere between the Chocolate Goldfish and Barnum's Animals Choco Crackers (the official name for the Kraft crackers). Stauffer's base is in York, PA but you can't tour their factory, so I didn't go there. (I want to see stuff being made! I'd love to see dough being pressed out of little animal molds! Whee!!) They claim to have started making animal crackers back in 1871. Now, they are just a division of the Meiji Company of Japan. Wah - that makes me sad. Anyway, Pepperidge Farms is kicking their butt in the chocolate-cracker-in-an-animal-shape department. Go Team USA!


Stauffer's does, however, have some exciting stuff on their website including this important information:


What is the difference between a cookie and a cracker?

Stauffer's Animal Crackers have less sugar and shortening than cookies. Animal Cookies, another Stauffer's product line, have slightly less flour than animal crackers. Animal crackers have a layered dough, which gives the crackers a crunchy and delicate texture. Break an animal cracker in half and you will see layers.

Holy cow-shaped cracker! This is like cookie geology! I bet Animal Cookies are really good.(Here's the deal though - they have WAY more calories than animal crackers - it's all that sugar and lard.) Again, get the Goldfish.

Now here's something truly amazing! There's a whole special Goldfish website (the chocolate ones aren't even on there yet - we are soooo cutting edge!). And they have a special program called Fishful Thinking (I kid you not) and this is what they say about it:

The Fishful Thinking program provides the tools parents need to teach their kids how to think optimistically about themselves and how to use their Optimism to overcome life's obstacles, persist in the face of adversity, and transform setbacks into manageable challenges. By teaching kids Optimism today, we are equipping them with the skills and strategies they can rely on to shine in the face of adversity for the rest of their lives.

Chocolate Goldfish are motivational speakers!!! Who knew?